Proszę o sprawdzenie 1 listu ;) Pilne

Proszę was (znowu) o sprawdzenie mi tego jednego listu formalnego. Praca trochę pilna bo na jutro ale wierzę w was.
Napisz list do Ambasady Irlandii z prośbą o pomoc w znalezieniu sponsora wyprawy rowerowej organizowanej przez Klub Miłośników Irlandii. W liście:
- wspomnij kiedy powstał Klub Miłośników Irlandii i podaj szczegóły dotyczące jego działalność;
- przedstaw trasę wyprawy rowerowej i przyjęte rozwiązania logistyczne;
- zaznacz, że podjęcie wyprawy jest zagrożone i wyjaśnij dlaczego;
- poproś o informacje na temat ewentualnych sponsorów i wyraź wdzięczność za pomoc.

I am representative Ireland's Fan Club. I am writing request some support in our search for a sponsor of the bicycle tour around Ireland. Ireland's Fan Club was founded in 2006. During summer holiday we would like to visit Ireland to learn more about your country on the spot. The club meetings are every week. We watch films, listen to music and learn Irish folk dances. We are going from Dublin through Waterford to Cork. Every member of the club will be insured. We are going to sleep in tents. Every year our tour is only possible thanks to our sponsors but this year we are begin forced to cancel the ride as we did not find a sponsor. We would be very grateful if you suggested some institution which could help us in that matter. I lokk forward to hearing from you soon.

Z góry dziekuję za wszystkie poprawki.

UWAGA: Z tych poprawek korzystasz na własne ryzyko.

[-] oznacza brak
[kwadratowy nawias] obejmuje miejsce, gdzie jest jakiś błąd
{nawias klamrowy} obejmuje coś, co niekoniecznie napisane jest błędnie, ale może warto to wyrazić inaczej.

I am [-] representative [-] Ireland's Fan Club. I am writing [-] {request} some support in our search for a sponsor of the bicycle tour around Ireland. Ireland's Fan Club was founded in 2006. During summer holiday we would like to visit Ireland to learn more about your country on the spot. The club meetings are every week. We watch films, listen to music and learn Irish folk dances. We are going from Dublin through Waterford to Cork. Every member of the club will be insured. We are going to sleep in tents. Every year our tour is only possible thanks to our sponsors but this year we are [begin] {forced to cancel} the [ride] as we {did not} find a sponsor. We would be very grateful if you suggested some institution which could help us in that matter. I [lokk] forward to hearing from you soon.

Poprawiłam tylko to, co już napisałeś. Sugestii rozwinięcia nie podaję.

Pozdrawiam

Cos te zdania skacza z jednego tematu do drugiego.
zobacz, moze tak:

I am A representative OF Ireland's Fan Club. Ireland's Fan Club was founded in 2006.The club meetings are every week. We watch films, listen to
music and learn Irish folk dances.
I am writing TO request some support in our search for a sponsor of 'the' A bicycle tour around Ireland. During THE summer holiday we would like to visit Ireland to learn more about your country on the spot. We 'are' INTEND going from Dublin through Waterford to Cork.
Every year our tour is only possible thanks to THE GENEROSITY OF our sponsors, but this year we 'are' (napisz to inaczej...WE WILL BE) 'begin' (niepotr) forced to cancel the ride 'as we did not' (cos tu nie tak UNLESS WE CAN find a sponsor.
We would be very grateful if you COULD suggesT 'some' THE NAMES OF institutionS which could help us in 'that' THIS matter.
I 'lokk' (ortog) forward to hearing from you soon.

Wielki dzięki naprawdę pomogliście mi. Terri ułożyłem trochę ten mój list wielki dzięki za rade ;)