Sprawdzenie tekstu

Witam!

Chciałabym prosić Was o sprawdzenie poniższej treści(maila). O co w mailu mniej więcej chodziło: jestem absolwentem szkoły, która otwiera np. nową salę gimnastyczną, widziałem wywiad z pracownikiem w TV, który pracował w starej sali 50 lat(np. jako dozorca), chcę go zaprosić na uroczystość otwarcia sali, by wygłosił przemówienie. Czy taka treść nadaję się w ogóle do maila formalnego(szczególnie zdanie: I am graduate of this school but I really do not know that.)?


Dear Mr Amin,

I am writing in connection with opening a new building - sport hall in Boston College. Last week, I sow interview with you and I found out that, you worked in the old sport hall for 50 years. I am graduate of this school but I really do not know that.

I would like to invite you to make a speech as part of the opening ceremony in Boston, USA, on 10 December. I would be grateful if the speech would need to last 30 minutes.

I enclose a document with programme of the ceremony in e-mail.
Let me know in advance if you will/will not be able to come.
If you have got any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

I look forward to hearing froum you.

Your sincerely,
XYZ

Help, I need somebody...

and I'm not just anybody

Dear Mr Amin,

I am writing in connection with THE opening OF THE new sportS hall in Boston College. Last week, I sow

Ogromnie dziękuję za udzieloną pomoc :)

Jeszcze tylko tak w ramach weryfikacji:

I am the graduate of this school but I really
do not know that about you. {tak będzie logicznie?}

Could you please let me know in advance if you will/will not be able to come. (jest grzeczniej?)

P.S. "Help, I need somebody" - it's only a lyrics. I know you are not anybody, you are helping us(simply people) so I thank you :)

I am the,_TO ZNACZY 'JEDYNY' graduate of this school but
I really
do not know that about you. {tak będzie logicznie?} NIE. MA BYC CZAS PRZESZLY I BEZ THAT.

Could you please let me know in advance if you will/will not be able to come. (jest grzeczniej?) OK, MOZE BYC

P.S. "Help, I need somebody" - it's only a lyrics. I know you are not anybody,
AND YOU DID NOT RECOGNIZE MORE LYRICS FROM THE SAME SONG?