krótka historyjka- prośba o sprawdzenie

Witam :).
Bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie mojej historyjki, chodzi mi głównie o czasy, bo z nimi nie raz miałam problemy. Aha! Jeśli chodzi o przecinki- nie wiem czy w angielskim stawia się je w tych samych miejscach, jak w języku polskim, dlatego na wszelki wypadek ich nie stawiałam.

It was rainy night. Caterine and James were walking by the street when suddenly they were saw strange man. The man stained in front of a couple and said "Stop! Give me your money!". Caterine cried and give back her wallet. At the same time, James run but near the place when event was happened he passed out. Then the strange man run. Suddenly Caterine saw that he fallen down. She came closer, the man wasn't conscious so she took away her wallet. Suddenly Caterine awaked and said "It was just a dream!". At noon she breaked up with her boyfriend,James.

It was (art.) rainy night. Caterine and James were walking down the street when suddenly they saw ( art.) strange man ( in the/their way ? ).
The man (stained the pavement off-white?, one can imagine what he was doing :) in front of (art.) couple and said (just said? maybe ‘roared, growled, shouted, yelled ‘?) "Stop! Give me your money!".
Caterine cried (started to weep or cried out in fear ?) and (give –you need the past of ‘give’) her wallet to the thug.
- the meaning of this sentence is unclear, rephrase it)

Then, the strange man(he’s not ‘the strange man’ any longer, he’s a sleazy goon) run/darted (away in a rush). (Suddenly – repetition, maybe ‘Unexpectedly’) Caterine saw him fall down. (When) she came up/nearer to him, she noticed the man was

thanks for the giggle

You're welcome ,milady ( allow for more vivid and effectual colorization :)
*ran

Dziękuję bardzo! Nie byłam świadoma tego, że robię tyle prostych (wręcz głupich) błędów.
Po poprawie błędów wyszło mi:

It was A rainy night. Caterine and James were walking down the street when suddenly they saw A strange man in the way.
The man stood in front of A couple and yelled "Stop! Give me your money!". Caterine started to weep and gave her wallet to the thug.
**
Then, criminal run away. Unexpectedly Caterine saw him fall down. When she came up closer to him, she noticed the man was unconscious, so she took away her wallet out of him. All at once Caterine awoke and said "It was just a bad dream!" At noon she broke up with her boyfriend James.

Zostawiłam awoke, ponieważ nie wiem czy po "to" coś konkretnego musi być, czy wystarczy "Caterine awoke to and said..."

**Jeżeli chodzi o "At the same time James run but near the place when event was happened he passed out" może "At the same time James darted. After a while he swooned"

"he got his walking ticket"
yeeees :)

Here ‘when they saw him in the way’ already implies something like ‘he stopped them from moving further “.Of course, you can either drop ‘the man stood ..’ or “in their way’ and think of some extra lines to pad it out. But I don’t want you to change the story, it’s yours not mine.
I can only make some suggestions which you don’t have to necessarily follow.

..of the couple (you used the indefinite article in your first version)
…the criminal ran ..
…came nearer to him..
….Caterine awoke to the thought, ‘It was just a bad dream‘
James darted away but after a while he fainted.


I realize that it’s not a fly-speck ( piece of cake) to narrate your stories in such a way they galvanize your audience by the most brilliant and ‘orotund’ wording possible in terms of both its lexical density and semantic precision, let alone grammar. Though I see you’re trying as am I too :)

*it galvanizes