list formalny

Witam wszystkich bardzo serdecznie!

Mam ogromną prośbę: bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie mojego listu.

Dear Sir,

I would like to apply for one of the announcement I saw advertised in students newspaper “Remont”.

At present I am studying at Academy of Physical Education in Warsaw. I receive top grades there and spend many hours on a swimming-pool. I took courses in instructor of swimming. Last year I was in Greece and worked there as an assistant of lifeguards.

The reason I am applying for an announcement that I haven’t got a job for holiday. I would have to full-time. As all good lifeguards must be, I am brave, muscular and organized. I have knowledge of first aid and the ability to protect people when they are in danger.I believe I have the education, experience and personality that an excellent lifeguard needs.

I am positive that I may make a good candidate for the job you offer and Gould be very grateful if you would consider my application.

Yours faithfully,
mmm

I would like to apply for (tutaj musisz podac jaka to praca) AS 'one of the announcement' (niepotr) I saw advertised in (tu cos brakuje) students newspaper “Remont".
At present I am studying at (tu cos brakuje) Academy of Physical Education in Warsaw. I receive top grades there and spend many hours 'on' (calkowicie zle slowo, pomysl co robisz) a swimming-pool. I took courses 'in' AS AN instructor of swimming. Last year I was in Greece and worked there as 'an assistant of lifeguards' Lifeguard assistant.
The reason I am applying for 'announcement' (nie, przeciez applying for a job) IS that I haven't got a job for (tutaj cos brakuje) holiday.
...I would have to full-time. ......to nie jest zdanie napisz poprawnie
I believe (tu cos brakuje) I have the education, experience and personality that an excellent lifeguard needs.
I am positive that I may make a good candidate for the job you offer
and 'Gould' (ortog) be very grateful if you would consider my application

Dzięki wielkie za pomoc!!

Teraz moja wersja poprawiona (mam nadzieję, ze w miarę dobrze :)

Dear Sir,

I would like to apply for lifeguard assistant I saw advertised in THE students magazine“Remont".

At present I am studying at THE Academy of Physical Education in Warsaw. I receive top grades there and spend many hours AT(?) a swimming-pool. I took courses as an instructor of swimming. Last year I was in Greece and worked there as Lifeguard assistant.

The reason I am applying for Lifeguard assistant is that I haven't got a job for the holiday. I would have to WORK full-time. As all good lifeguards must be, I am brave, muscular and organized. I have knowledge of first aid and the ability to protect people when they are in danger.I believe THAt I have the education, experience and personality that an excellent lifeguard needs.

I am positive that I may make a good candidate for the job you offer and could be very grateful if you would consider my application.

Yours faithfully,
mmm

jeszcze raz wielkie dzięki za pomoc!Pozdrawiam!