formal letter

prosze o sprawdzenie formy, ewentualnie gramatyki


Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my deep dissatisfaction with the employees you hired in 'The Paradise' Restaurant.

I visited that place with my family on 1st January. We were served by a young lady called Miriam. Even though we ordered only one dish, we had to wait for it about an hour. My husband tried to intervene. Nothing changed the situation. What is more I find the waitress' behaviour extremely appalling. In the end we had problems with the erratic bill. Waiters boss wasn't helpful. I am astonished and unsatisfied.

I insist that the Management of your company take prompt action and make this waitress redundant. I think that personnel training would be recommended. I trust the matter will recieve your immediate attention.


Yours faithfully,

nie jestem pewna, ale zauważyłam w twoim liście kilka błędów,które warto sprawdzić
1we had to wait for it FOR about an hour.
2 I found
3 waiter's boss
4 I was astonished
bo powinno się zachować jedność czasu
a następne zdanie może brzmiałoby lepiej tak:
I insist on (taking promt action and) making this waitress redundant by the Management of your company

i chyba nie "in the end" ale "at the end.."

racja :in the end znaczy w konu(finally) a tu powinno byc at the end-na koncu

a zamiast employee you hired dalbym took on

Some notes - maybe useful
deep dissatisfaction with your employees in the Paradise
I visited the Restaurant (not that place) on 1st January.
Although we ordered only one dish - had to wait for it for about an hour.
My husband tried to intervene ? (How? what do you mean?) Did he complain?
Nothing changed what situation? The unacceptable delay?
I find the waitress's behaviour extremely appalling. Why?
erratic bill? What is that?
Waiters boss - do you mean the Chief Waiter or the Waitresses boss?
.consider making the waitress redundant.
I think that personnel (do you mean personnel or personal?) training should be recommended.
will receive (not recieve) your immediate attention.

ja bym starała sie unikać phrasali