rozprawka - prośba o sprawdzenie

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Cześć,
Mam sporą prośbę. Czy ktoś móglby, chociażby połowicznie wskazać błędy w mojej rozprawce? Miałam dużą przerwę w nauce angielskiego, pozapominałam wiele sformułowań, a gdyby ktoś wskazał mi potknięcia, mogłoby mi się rozjaśnić... Z góry dziękuję.

You will always be a stranger in a foreign country

It is undeniable, that everyone dreams about travelling or visiting the tropics, but only a few people decide to move out and settle in an unfamiliar country. Why? Perhaps it caused by a thought, that we will always be strangers in foreign country. It is hard to judge how far it is a truth.
To start with, it is important to notice, that for young people living in unfamiliar country could be an enormous chance and is connected with a better quality of life. What is more, children adapt to a new habitat and strike up an acquaintance very quickly. Probably, they will never feel strangers in a country, which became their homeland.
Many people suggest, that being a foreigner doesn’t make them worse than other citizens. They are respected and they respect the rules as well. In the beginning, find new friends, a job will be hard for sure, but after years a place to live, where you feel joyful, could become your home.
On the other hand, lots of people consider traditions, family’s roots as the most important. Foreigner has a huge problem how overcome a fear, solitude, not only a border. It could appear unrealizable.
To conclude, In my opinion we will always be strangers in a foreign country, even though because of a national identity.
Perhaps it (tu cos brakuje, 'is') caused by a thought, that we will always be strangers in 'A' foreign country. It is hard to judge how far 'it' (nie, tutaj THIS) is 'a' THE truth.
To start with, it is important to 'notice' (nie za bardzo trafne slowo, ale ok - moze lepiej 'remember'), that for young people living in AN (cos z tymi przedimkami masz problemy - postaraj sie jeszcze raz je przerobic) unfamiliar country could be an enormous chance and is connected with a better quality of life. What is more, children adapt to a new 'habitat' (zle slowo - daj tutaj 'surroundings') and strike up 'an acquaintance' (ok - ale nie za bardzo, moze lepiej 'friendships') very quickly. Probably, they will never feel strangers in a country, which 'became' BECOMES (dlatego, ze tutaj mowisz o przyszlosci) their homeland.

They are respected and they respect the rules (ale jakie rules - musisz napisac) as well. In the beginning, (tu cos brakuje - moze TO) find new friends AND a job will be hard 'for sure' (nie lubie tego, to tak mi przypomina amerykanisms ze az strach-daj to inaczej), but after (tu cos brakuje) years a place to live, where you feel joyful, (tu cos brakuje) could become your home.
On the other hand, lots of people consider traditions, 'family’s' FAMILY roots as the most important. (przedimek) foreigner has a huge problem IN how overcome 'a' (niepotr) fear, solitude, 'not only a border' (tego nie rozumiem) . 'It' (nie wiem do czego to 'it' sie odnosi) could appear unrealizable.
To conclude, in my opinion we will always be strangers in a foreign country, 'even though because' (cos tu nie tak, to troche niema sensu) of a national identity.

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