list

Bardzo prosze o sprawdzenie

Dear Sir

I am writing to complain about the mobile phone I have bought at your shop ,,Makro" a week ago.
It is Nokia model ,,X-55". It is guaranteed for two years
The phone was workind well for the first five days. All options were available, I could call, answer massages, listen to music and take pictures.
On the sixth day battery ran down and when I recharged I could not turn the phone on. I replaced battery by another one but it did not help
As the phone is still under guarantee I would appreciate it if you could repair the faulty product or give me a refund.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Dlaczego wklejasz to samo 2 razy?

ja bym co nieco pozmieniał:

I am writing to complain about the mobile phone I bought at your shop ,,Makro" a week ago.
It is Nokia model ,,X-55". It is still under guarantee. The guarantee period is 2 years.
The phone had been working well for the first five days. All options had been available, I was able to make calls, answer massages, listen to the music and take pictures.
On the sixth day its battery wore out and after recharging it I could not turn the phone on.
I replaced the battery with another one but it did not help.
As the phone is still under guarantee I would appreciate if you could repair the faulty product or give me a refund.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

You didn't improve it, BigJoe, you dumbed it down.

jak masz jakieś zastrzeżenia to moze... do rzeczy?

Past perfect jest zly, 'wore out' jest zle, listen to music (bez the), po appreciate musi byc it.
Kilku innych rzeczy nie wylapales, np. It's a Nokia, usunąłbym też 'your shop'
no i 'massages' :-)
Kilka rzeczy faktycznie napisales lepiej niz w oryginale.

wear out - może dot. baterii. np. My battery has worn out więc nie wiem za bardzo o co chodzi w tej objekcji.

Past P. - fakt, nie byłem pewny co do jego użycia, w sumie mowa jest o tym, co działo się przed jego zepsuciem. Stąd jego zastosowanie zaprzeszłe.

answer messages - odpoiwadać na wiadomości. Nie rozumiem objekcji.

Aczkolwiek dzięki za uwagi.

bo to nie znaczy 'rozładowała się'.

massages - nie widzisz