Prosze sprawdzcie mi list :-(

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Miałam napisać list z wakacji z zagranicy do rodziców.Opisać jaki mi się przytrafił incysdent, kogo poznała, jak mineła podróż. Nie wiem czy dobrze napisałam napewno mam dużo błedów pomóżcie prosze.

Dear Mum and Dad!

I'm writing from London. From my room is fantastic view of the city!Raise was the price long and timing.I Got to know a lot of new people. I made the friend from one of girls name is Ania and it lives In Warsaw. The weather is very changeable , sometimes the sun is shining and sometimes rained all day. How are you? I hope you are fine. I write his Letter for you, because I want to tell you abort event that took place while I was a train. We met on stadion all. I arrived at the station, bought the ticket and went down to the platform. When we waited, small young girl entered and she asked or I could borrow her some money for the train ticket when I was talking with her, somebody stole my ID card from my backpocket. I realised when it was it was too late. All finished well I found wallet.
London is a wonderful city , ther is many great's museums , old markets , clean green parks and the best shops in Europe! I never forget St. Paul's Cathedral , Tower od London , Big Ben and Buckingham Palace , this places is wonderful !
To finish fly this letter, because in 10 minutes I have meeting. We go to tour city, so I can not come late. I greet You warmly and I kiss. To seeing.

Yours faithfully,
XYZ
Dear Mum and Dad,

I'm writing to you from London.I've got the room with a fantastic view of the city! I have gotten to know a lot of new people. I have made great friend, she is Ania and she lives in Warsaw. The weather is very changeable, sometimes the sun is shining and sometimes it is raining all day. How are you? I hope you are fine. I am writing this letter to you, because I want to tell you about even which took place when I was in the train. We all have met on the station.When I arrived I bought the ticket and went down to the platform. When we were waiting for a train when young girl appeared and she asked ma if I could borrow her some money for the train ticket. When I was having a talk with her, somebody was stealing my ID card from my backpocket. Thank God, my friend noticed this thief and started shoutiing. Then he run away.
London is a wonderful city , there are great museums, old markets, clean green parks and the best shops in Europe! I will never forget St. Paul's Cathedral , Tower of London , Big Ben and Buckingham Palace , all this places are wonderful !
I have to finish this letter because I am going to a city tour, so I can't be late. See you soon.

Love,
XYZ




Ja bym to napisała tak. W niektórych zdaniach nie bardzo wiedziałam o co chodzi wiec troche zmieniłam. Bardzo wazne, ze listow nieformalnych nie konczy sie "yours faithfully" no i po Dear Mum daje sie przecinek. Mam nadzieje ze sie przyda:)
dziękuje ci bardzo :-)