Proszę o sprawdzenie

Proszę o spr. rozprawki na temat: ' Art should be made a compulsory subject in all types of schools'
Art certainly plays crucial role in our life. It escorts us from ages and influences on comprehensive man's development. What is more, art has huge influence on contemporary world. Many people think that art is an indispensable part of our life. However, is it sufficient reason to introduce art as obligatory subject in school? It seems to me that yes. I am going to present arguments confirming thesis contained in the subject.
Firstly, as we know art broadens our minds. Thanks to that we deepen a knowledge about history of our country. We can get to know essential events by admire works of art like ' Tennenberg Battle'. Moreover, art boost level of our culture. It shape artistic sensitivity of students. Thanks to that we develop emotionally and create our personality. Therefore, children discover their new interests.
On the other hand we have to realize that art can be a reason of failure. Lack of artistic talent discurage children to this subject. As a result creative attitude disappears. Art becomes only another subject in school. Furthermore, it is a couse of differences between childrens. Consequently, perhaps we should limit in our life the part of art to visiting galleries or theatres.
Taking everything into account in my opinion art should be a school subject. Knowledge about art facilitates understanding of the world. It makes us sensitive on beauty which surrounds us. Apart from this I believe that thanks to art we become more affective people. It couses that we look at the world from different perspective.

Czy mógłby ktoś to sprawdzić i wskazać przynajmniej najważniejsze błędy??? Będę wdzięczna.

Art certainly plays (a gdzie jest przedimek...poszedl na spacer?) crucial role in our life. It 'escorts' (zle slowo-poszukasj inne...tran...) us from 'ages' (nie wiem o co chodzi tutaj) and influences (kogo?) 'on' (zle slowo)0 (przedimek - znowu brakuje...co to?) 'comprehensive' (zle slowo) man's development. What is more, art has (przedimek) huge influence on contemporary world.
However, is it (przedimek, co sie robi z tymi przdimkami...czy NIKT juz tego nie uczy...skandal!!!) sufficient reason to introduce art as (przedimek) obligatory subject in school? It seems to me that 'yes' (tak nie piszemy...to nie jest sensowne zdanie). I am going to present arguments confirming (przedimek) thesis contained 'in' (zle slowo) the subject.
Firstly, 'as we know' (Z gdzie jest EVIDENCE? prosze nie mowic, ze wszyscy wiemy, jak nie masz dokladnych badan na to) art broadens our minds. Thanks to that we deepen 'a' (co ten przedimek tutaj robi?) (tu brakuje slowa) knowledge about (przedimek)history of our country. We can get to know (przedimek) essential events by 'admire' (zla czesc mowy) works of art 'like' (nie uzywaj tego, co masz na mysli to SUCH AS THE 'Tennenberg Battle'.
Moreover, art 'boost' (dostosuj czasownik) (przedimek) level of our culture. It 'shape' (to nie jest czas. 3os.l.poj - dlaczego tego nie umiesz?) artistic
sensitivity of students.
Lack of artistic talent 'discurage' (tu masz ortog i dostosuj to do 3os.l.poj) children to this subject.
Furthermore, it is a 'couse' (ortog) of differences between 'childrens' (ortog). Consequently, perhaps we should limit in our life 'the part
of art' (nie rozumiem tego) to visiting galleries or theatres.
Knowledge about art facilitates (przedimek) understanding of the
world. It makes us sensitive 'on' (zle slowo - kalka z polskiego) beauty which surrounds us.
It 'couses' (co to niby za slowo jest - ortog) that we look at the world from (przedimek) different perspective.

Dziękuję za pomoc. Czy sensitive to the beauty jest poprawnie?