Proszę o sprawdzenie rozprawki

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Nowadays more and more people has computers with internet. Teenagers use many social networking sides, for instance facebook. There they can make new relationships. It is said that in the virtual world, friendships are superficial and it makes that we lose real friends. This situation has plenty of both advantages and disadvantages.
The most important advantage of virtual friendships is getting to know other cultures. You can make friends with people from all over the world. Also, in future thanks to that, humans can travel and explore new places. Of course this can transform into acquaintance true friendship. Other advantage is improving foreign languages. This ability is very valuable nowadays. Further we can get to know better ordinary language, than theory from books.
On the other hand developing virtual friendships can cause losing friends from real world. Besides spending time in front of computer makes that we lose contact with entourage. Last but not least is that spending time on computer is harmful for sight and spine. Apart from this it can lead to obesity, caused reduced physical activity.
Taking everything into account it seems that it is worth making virtual friendships. I am totally against spending all days in front of computer to cultivate friendship. I think, that everything is for people but in moderation.
people has?
furthermore
to make sb do sth
>>social networking sides<<
internet - jest tylko jeden, więc brak przedimka
world, friendships - zbędny przecinek
in future - przedimek
thanks to that - w tym miejscu może raczej coś w stylu: daje to możliwość
Also, in (przedimek) future thanks to that, humans (people) can travel and explore new places.
Other (złe słowo) advantage
of (przedimek) computer
from (przedimek) real world
spending time on (przedimek) computer
front of (przedimek) computer
>>harmful for sight and spine<<

« 

Studia językowe

 »

Pomoc językowa - tłumaczenia