Czy mogłabym prosić o korektę/wskazanie niepoprawnych zdań?

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
Czy mogłabym prosić o sprawdzenie rozprawki na temat "Czy w dzisiejszych czasach możliwe jest zachowanie równowagi pomiędzy życiem prywatnym i zawodowym?". Będę wdzięczna za każdą pomoc :)

People are living in a faster and faster way. The sands of time are running out and they constantly chase aft of something. In such conditions easy to forget what is the most important. It is hard not to get lost in the constant quest for better job, higher salary and preservation positions. Yet it is possible to keep a balance between private and professional life nowadays.
First and foremost, when people are doing what they love they are never at work. Should work be a passion in which an individual can be realized, they will not have to even rest. The well-matched work can bring tons of benefits in various spheres of life that will be helpful in keeping balance.
Secondly, all that is needed is effective time management. There are many techniques improving work efficiency without neglecting private life. People ought to leave additional activities, if they bring them more problems than satisfactions. Furthermore, all unnecessary loss of time and energy should be eliminated or destined for efficient work.
Last of all, with clearly defined life goals is easier to develop in every area of life and follow the chosen direction without deviating from the targets and imbalance. People, who are aware of their skills and abilities, know where to draw the line which should not be exceeded as this may disrupt the harmony in life.
To sum up, maintaining a work-life balance is possible. You can live ‘good but short’, nevertheless, the real trick is to organize your time so that you do not neglect any of areas of life.
The sands of time are running out and 'they' (do kogo to 'they' się odnosi?) constantly chase aft of something. In such conditions (tu brak 2 slow) easy to forget what is the most important (brak cos na końcu) . It is hard not to get lost in the constant quest for (przedimek) better job, (przedimek) higher salary and 'preservation positions' (nie rozumiem co to jest?) .
Should work be a passion in which an individual can be realized, they will not have to 'even rest' (nie rozumiem co to jest?) . The well-matched work can bring tons of benefits in various spheres of life that will be helpful in keeping (przedimek) balance.
There are many techniques (brak słowa) improving work efficiency without neglecting private life.
satisfaction - l. poj
You can live ‘'good' (zle slowo tutaj 'well') but short’, nevertheless, the real trick is to organize your time so that you do not neglect any of areas of (daj tutaj 'your') life.
The sands of time are running out and the public constantly chase aft of something. In such condition, it is easy to forget what is the most important to. It is hard not to get lost in the constant quest for a better job, a higher salary and keeping work. (chodziło mi o to, aby w ogóle zachować pozycję, nie zostać zwolnionym; czy przed 'keeping' powinien być przedimek?)
Should work be a passion in which an individual can be realized, they will not have to 'even rest' (nie potrzebują odpoczywać - praca jest dla nich przyjemnością). The well-matched work can bring tons of benefits in various spheres of life that will be helpful in keeping a balance.
There are many techniques to improving work efficiency without neglecting private life.
There are many techniques for improving work efficiency without neglecting private life.

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