esej-prosze o pomoc

Oto temat mojego eseju:
Wealth does not bring happiness, true or false?
Ma mi to zając max 220 słów a jest juz 222 bez zakończenia...:) Prosze o sprawdzenie poprawności językowej! Dziękuję!!

The most important things in life are invisible. All people have their own private code according to which they decide which things are important and which are not. For many people the most major thing in life is having a lot of money. The pursuit of a money becomes their obsession. It is proper ask oneself a question by any chance that wealth is only great joy?

What is true that people who are very reach have a completely different way of looking at life from those who are not. Firstly they cannot worry about their future, they live calmly being able to satisfy their own needs. Furthermore by dint of money they can help needy people, go to bat for charitable organization, So they can draw the satisfaction and feel fulfilled people. Finally the haves might rejoice other and to themselves.

Nevertheless have a lack of money might increase many brain teasers, and it may has negative effects on their lives. The main and most warring effects are situations when somebody will fancy easily and quickly to enrich, and will snatch for one ransom one of rich people. Secondly In quest for money people take full of energy and it can ruin their relationship with family and friends. Last of all, it could cover up things which are very important like…..

Czy po polsku powiesz: Najwazniejsze w zyciu sa rzeczy niewidzialne?
Po angielsku tez nie. Pierwsze zdanie do przerobki na pewno.

All people have their
>own private code according to which they decide which things are
>important and which are not. (to zdanie tez moze byc ulepszone ale w tej chwili nie mam na niego pomyslu). For many, it is important to have a lot of money. The pursuit of wealth becomes their obsession.

>It is proper ask oneself a question by any chance that
>wealth is only great joy? Trudno zrozumiec o co Ci tu chodzi. "proper" tu na pewno nie pasuje i "by any chance" tez nie.

>What is true (niepotrzebne, zajmuje tylko miejsce a nic konkretnego nie wnosi) that people who are very reach (rich) have a completely
>different way of looking at life from those who are not.

Rich people have a completely different outlook on life.

Firstly they
>cannot worry about their future, they live calmly being able to
>satisfy their own needs. (to sa dwa oddzielne zdania, tam kropka potrzebna, nie przecinek)

... do not have to (nie cannot - moga jesli chca, ale nie musza) worry about their financial future (samo future jest zbyt ogolne). They can live calmly being able to satisfy their own needs.

Furthermore by dint of money they can help
>needy people, go to bat for charitable organization,

dint of money is too informal i w ogole niepotrzebne w tym zdaniu.

They can help needy people by giving money to charities.

So they can draw
>the satisfaction and feel fulfilled people. (czyli uspokoic sumienie? tak to mozna odczytac; lepiej tego nie pisac)

Finally the haves might
>rejoice other and to themselves.
Co tu chcesz powiedziec? Bo dziwne to zdanie jest.

>Nevertheless have a lack of money might increase many brain teasers,
>and it may has negative effects on their lives
Brak pieniedzy moze zwiekszyc ilosc zagadek (brain teasers) i miec negatywny wplyw na nasze zycie???

Caly ostatni paragraf jest do napisania od nowa.