Czy to jest dobrze?

Dear Amy,
How are you? I hope you're well. Thanks very much for the MP3 player. It's brilliant. I will be applying it very often. I really enjoyed my birthday.
You won't believe what happend . My aunt came which I have not seen before. She did me a great surprise. Her arrival was the best gift.
I got lots of wonderful presents:tennis racket, money box and a lot of sweets.
My parents bought me phone which I'm dreamed so much for me! It was amanzig day.

See you soon, I hope. And thanks again for the MP3 player.
Love
Ewa

PS My sister send their love too.

I will be applying it very often. - złe slowo. Jak będzie "używać"?
My aunt came which I have not seen before. - co masz na myśli?
She did me a great surprise. - Spróbuj inaczej: To była duża niespodzianka dla mnie.
tennis racket, money box - a gdzie przedimki?
My parents bought me (przedimek?) phone which I'm dreamed so much for me! - co masz na myśli?
My sister send (Present Simple, 3 os. lp) their (ICH?) love too.

Troche zmieniłam, ale pewnie nadal jest źle......

Dear Amy,
How are you? I hope you're well. Thanks very much for the MP3 player. There is brilliant. I am using it very often. My birthday was fantastic.
You won't believe what happened .
My aunt came which I have not seen( Nie wiem jak napisać to zdanie, ale chodzi mi o to ze ciocia niespodziewanie przyjechała i bardzo dlugo jej nie widzialam.)
It was a big surprise for me. Her arrival was the best gift.
I have received many other presents: a tennis racket, a money box and a lot of sweets.
Even my parents bought me a phone about which I dreamed.! It was amazing day.
See you soon, I hope. And thanks again for the MP3 player.
Love
Ewa
PS My sister sends you greetings.

I am using it very often. - dobrze
It was a big surprise for me. - dobrze
My sister sends you greetings - dobrze

Even my parents bought me a phone about which I dreamed.! trochę koślawe. Uprość: mój wymarzony telefon. Wymarzony to po prostu DREAM

My aunt came which I have not seen - Zmień to na dwa zdania. Będzie prościej. Moja ciocia przyjechała. Nie widziałam JEJ PRZEZ DŁUGI CZAS. - spróbuj sama i wstaw tu.

P.S. W pierwszym poście miałaś dobre zdanie: It's brilliant.
W drugiej wersji masz złe: There is brilliant. - z innego tematu???

Dlatego lepiej nie powielać tematów w różnych działach, bo wszystko się miesza.

Even my parents bought my dream phone.
My aunt came.
I have not seen her for a long time.

Okey, będę pamiętała. I dziekuję za poświecenie mi czasu i pomoc :)

Even my parents bought (zgubiłaś "ME") my dream phone.
My aunt came.
I have not seen her for a long time. - dużo lepiej. W zasadzie powinien tu być Past Perfect, ale nie kombinujmy za dużo. Jest OK.

albo..my parents bought me a phone I've dreamed of / a phone of my dreams ....albo jakos tak bym napisal;)

Ok. Jeszcze raz wielkie dzięki :)

moneybox

ten BrE piggy bank nie musi byc razem pisany, nawet czesciej jest oddzielnie

Ja bym ujal: Moi rodzice nawet.... /sugg/